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I guess it's just too rare for someone to talk rationally about sexuality and in the spiritual context.Keep in mind, that this is also just one context to hold sexuality in.
It keeps us from looking over our shoulders to figure out what's following us. It's like the thousand pound weight that we can't move in our bodies. Subsequently, we may seek out different sexual practices that already include a shaming of the body.
Personally, I try to keep pain and pleasure as separate from each other as possible.
I'm not a "No pain, No gain" person even though I warn everybody that this will hurt at times as we break through old layers of issues in ourselves.
Pain and Pleasure: Too Close for Comfort It is interesting though that in shadow work, you can access some of this deep-seated shame very directly.
I've heard of some dominatrices that actually can use their work as a way for someone to more directly confront big issues like shame.