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I love happy, goofy, charismatic Michael that tells dad jokes and has bad dance moves and I didn’t want that to change.With our decision to not do the medication route I knew I would have to deal with the consequences of manic episodes but I loved this person and I was willing to learn as much about this as possible and see if I could handle it.He completely understood if I wanted to end things but that he would also gladly get on bipolar medication if that’s what I wanted.
That’s just not something I want.” And I said to myself, While nervously saying out loud, “Ohhh heh. ” And then he proceeds to tell me straight up, “I also suffer from Bipolar Disorder and Depression.” And my eyes just got huge, couldn’t help it, and I couldn’t even muster up anything to smooth it over. I want this blog post to be something you can read and either relate to, or learn from.He started getting irritable when we got back, we started arguing which was unlike us, and then it caused me to see a side of him I’ve actually never seen.Keep in mind, at this point we had only been dating for THREE MONTHS and I couldn’t understand why he would be yelling about nothing, why he was so pissed off over the smallest things, and why he couldn’t just calm down. He said to me, “Yeah I don’t ever see myself getting married. I was so ready to jump the gun on this guy I was so incredibly attracted to and interested in the moment he mentioned his mental health disorder. And I’m not writing this blog post to come across to people that I now know everything… But I’m merely writing this to let people know who struggle with this in and out of relationships, that they are not alone. He knocked on my door to take me to dinner and when he walked in and I saw him for the first time I said to myself, But I just nervously laughed it off like, “Wow that’s … ” And I carried on with the date (he was beautiful so like… I was thinking to myself, And as we got to my apartment we chatted some more and I guess we were getting a little bit more comfortable with one another to the point where Michael really started opening up to me. Dang.” And I immediately thought to myself, And he sees my reaction and just laughs. Let’s just touch base on the thought process I had towards the end of our date though. From our first date and even up to this very moment, I feel like I’ve been in a very fast paced, crash course on mental health and everything that comes with it.
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One of my best friends at the time had stolen all of my cash savings ($10,000) from me.