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In any and all cases, just remember it’s always better to make sure one really knows a person before making such a commitment. Especially as a first-year, there are so many obligations to tackle and novelties to decipher that the first few months are already overwhelming enough without adding the stress that comes from balancing a relationship. I’m saying that if you’re one of the perhaps many potential or even current students that want a relationship or don’t necessarily feel that you need one but feel as though you should be feeling this way, take a moment to pause. These are all things that are vital to one’s degree of self-sufficiency in college and thus must be understood. Yes, it can be very important but it’s also not a bad idea to focus on yourself in the beginning.
If it happens and one can balance everything, that’s spectacular and exceptionally impressive. My warning is not against relationships in the first year or even trying something out with someone you’re interested in. The relationship you’re craving will come naturally, without you having to consciously dwell or make it happen. My best advice is, please forgive the cliche, be yourself and the right people will gravitate toward you.
Though I’m originally from California, a beacon of progressiveness, I was one of the few openly gay students on campus and thus the dating market was in limited supply. If you are interested in someone, by all means pursue it. ” However, when it comes to developing friendships, bonds can form rather quickly and rather intensely, making it seem as if mutually pursuing something more with another person is absolutely justified.
However, dating and finding a possible candidate or candidates for one’s affections is not the sole nor the highest priority once one finds themselves on a college campus. Of course, the fact that friendships often form quickly here is a beautiful thing.
Although I will spare you all the gruesome details-gruesome not as in explicit but rather disappointing- I will admit to the fact that I have, somehow in my short time here, had an experience in the college dating department.
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Here are some of the things I learned: 1) There are many…MANY fish in the sea. There is quite a significant LGBTQ population at Brown and so finding someone who perhaps “catches your eye” will not be an issue. I address this because sometimes, as in my case, the fact that there are now so many people who could potentially show interest in you and you in them is overwhelming.
I wasn’t sure how to phrase this without sounding like I was objectifying the entire male student body. Sometimes it can even delude you into the false assumption that with so many possible individuals with whom something could develop, one might as well start looking. If I read something like this, even I would roll my eyes and say “duh!